Hormigas

''Los sueños en los que aparecen hormigas por todas partes pueden llegar a ser, como en la vida real, desesperantes pues no puedes detenerlas y esto te hace sentir impotencia.

Si llegas a sufrir verdadera angustia ante la presencia de estos insectos, (en estos casos el paso de las hormigas suele ser además muy rápido y totalmente descontrolado), debes analizar tu día a día para descubrir si no estás superando tus límites y tus fuerzas en cuestiones laborales, en tus obligaciones diarias.''

Hace unos tres meses, en mi casa se podía estar observando a las señoras hormigas por todos lados y habitaciones. Estabas en el sofá y notabas un cosquilleo por los brazos y las piernas, te rascabas y más tarde te cagabas en las jodías al ver que te habían mordisqueado. En la cama también. Y hasta te espiaban en el baño. Inevitablemente, tanta manía hace que saques tus instintos más asesinos y vengadores. Así que llegó ese punto en que, hormiga que veía, hormiga que asesinaba. A veces ellas mísmas cavaban su propia tumba metiéndose debajo de los grifos. Hasta llegué a disfrutar, y mira que nunca me había pasado por el coco ser tan ruin con seres tan ''inofensivos''.

La cosa es que la misma noche después de una gran matanza, soñé que enormes hormigas bien organizadas trepaban por la pared y se abalanzaban sobre mi sin piedad. Fue tal el pánico que sentí que no me percaté que era sólo un pesadillón y no dudé un instante en bajar las escaleras de la litera del revés i con prisas sin pausas, pegando un salto tan mal dado que me torcí el tobillo, como si se hubieran vengado de mí, vaya. Todo esto me hizo recapacitar, y también a cordarme de que mi pánico a las hormigas se remonta desde que tenía apenas cinco años, cuando un día estaba sentada en la acera jugando con mis muñecas y, de repente y sin haberme dado cuenta antes, me percaté que estos insectos me estaban invadiendo el trasero.

Después de esta experiencia tan impactante ya me había cogido un poco de respeto por ellas, y por el resto de insectos que siempre están por doquier trepándote y en ocasiones mordiéndote.

No había pensado nunca en la presión que sentía en mi cabeza en situaciones tan poco amenazantes como es verte en guerra con una mosca, un mosquito, una hormiga o una cucharacha, pero en fin, todo el mundo tiene repulsión a algo que, por muy insignificante que parezca, hay que hadmitirlo. Y yo odio a esos bichos.

Creando canciones

Me he fallado.

abofeteame si lo merezco
se que duele pero quizas asi despierto
y me doy cuenta de que no es demasiado tarde,
no, no es demasiado tarde
que nunca lo fue pero preferi callarme
hazme sentir viva y recordar lo que pasamos
por lo que luchamos.

Siento si te he fallado
ya sabes que es dificil
y a veces somos vagos
pero aun estoy a tiempo no es demasiado tarde
no, no es demasiado tarde
podemos crear un futuro sin repetir el pasado.

Book review: No Impact man by Colin Beavan

This book was written in 2009 and it narrates a year of the author and his family's life, when he decides to live without polluting.

The book not only narrates the struggle of a writer who tries to be eco-friendly in New York, but also gives a lot of updated information related to the environmental abuses and problems that are leading the humanity towards an unkown future. He tries to find alternatives to every aspect of his life that produces waste and a negative effect on the planet. He doesn't only stop taking the car, but he also stops buying products that are not local. At some point of this project he even stops using any thing that works with electricity. With all the changes he makes in his life, he tries to show to the population that although the earth is in real danger, every individual can change easily some of the behaviors and attitudes of their lifes that have an impact on the environment. With his example he shows that it is not too much of a sacrifice to make some changes in oneself's life in order to stop the progress of the global warming or the extinction of many animal species. He also makes the reader realize that choosing an environmentally friendly life has many benefits on mood and social relations and can make you feel more complete and harmonic.

Besides the book, you can also watch the documentary "No impact man: the documentary"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9Ctt7FGFBo

Behind unkown eyes

She eternal

She used to be sad for some time that looked to her as if it was an eternity. She knew what she needed, and she knew when she would get it. Her sadness was due to incompleteness. She felt lacking of many things that, even though she knew how to get them, she didn't have the motivation to go after them. Those things were not even material things. Everybody knows that objects can light people up for a temporary amount of time, probably for just a few hours. What she needed was those things that cannot be touched, those things that we give them a name and we can recognize but that we cannot touch or grab. Those things were things like love, passion, excitement, belonging, happiness….

She felt that those things had to be searched somewhere far away, away from her real life. She knew that moment was coming closer and closer, and when she thought of that moment, she already could feel some of this excitement she was looking for.

When that moment arrived, she looked backwards and thought for a second about not making any other step forward, but this second couldn't make up her mind. She left knowing she was leaving behind some memories, places, and people that were in her heart, but after all, these things would remain with her, in her, wherever she was. And so she left. She was afraid. She was unsecure. She was nervous, she was lost. She loved having those feelings, feelings that smelled like adventure. Things that were so distant from the routine.

She set herself free. She wanted to feel like a wild animal. She started settling in her new home, where a new person would grow in her. She felt so different at the same time she was herself. She never felt so true. She wanted to smile, and that smile made other people smile. Making other people smile made her smile even more. Her eyes were shiny, full of joy. She felt so free even though she knew that wasn't completely true. Bus she felt so free... she woke up with will to live, and she just slept when her eyes couldn't hold it longer. She didn't want the days to end, but at the same time she felt curiosity for what the next day would be like. Everything was a mystery, a surprise, a gift.

She thought of how she could make this moment of her life to last forever. Because she knew that would end someday. But all she cared about now was the present. “Present is what we live. Past is made of memories and the Future is unknown. So why should I be worrying about that and tear my Present away? Don’t let neither the Past or the Future steal your Present. Go build your Present, the most amazing experiences you can dream of happen Now” she always said.

While knowing everything has an end, she would seize it as much as she could. Spontaneity was her favorite thing. How great could spontaneity be? She lend herself go wild and natural, with her body language saying "I am ready for everything". Although she knew that was temporary, she felt like it was going to last forever. She felt eternal and so she was eternal. She is eternal.

lovecats

Enjoy the silence

Es muy fácil aprender a abrir la boca sin sentir como los labios se van agrietando por la tensión de los hilos casi metálicos que los unen en definidos zigzagueos.

Nunca es suficientemente pronto para mantener la imparcialidad en la blanda, humeda e impulsiva serpiente con desmesurados anhelos de gloria.

Civilization Landscape

Sometimes if we look up the unreachable sky...

Decay

Against me

Los ojos se le salían de la órbita porque ya no querían ver más. Sus fosas nasales inspiraban y expiraban casi al mismo tiempo, sus oídos emitían un pitido agudo e insoportable.Su cara sangraba y se llenaba de arrugas de dolor: parecía haber envejecido en tansolo un minuto. El frío que recorría su cuerpo le erizaba el vello y el sudor se mezclaba con la espuma amarilla que su boca derramaba.Todo su cuerpo se convulsionaba frenéticamente y sus brazos se retorcían alrededor de la garganta a la vez que los dedos de ambas manos se entrelazaban unos con otros de una forma prácticamente imposible. Sus piernas intentaban seguir el mismo ejemplo.Su cuerpo se había vuelto contra ella.

I'm not surprised

Well, i know that you are near

But i feel alone even when you’re here

I know that you are near

But i feel alone even when you’re here

And on it goes

Trapped

- I need no one.

- Are you sure?

No solution

Road to ruin

Desperation.

Gotta get out of here
Nothing for me here
Nothing to do, nowhere to go
No words to say, no thoughts to think

Against all odds.

Every one i know goes away in the end.

1911-2010